Read the latest edition of the Scranton Newsletter:
DWIGHT SPEAKS!
by Dwight Schrute
Dwight SchruteWhoever is leaving the saucers of milk and bowls of creature kibble in the parking lot needs to cease and desist immediately. It’s attracting an offensive mass of wild cats. I’ve already slain four with my car – three by accident, one by choice. If they continue to be nourished, they will soon come to rely on this food source as their sole supply. Consequently, the rodent population will rise to an ungodly quantity. The rats will begin to scour our dumpsters, wallowing in the trash and spreading it about the streets like VD at Mardi Gras. What was in that trash? The personal documents you forgot to shred. Soon a no-luck-Chuck comes across your last bank statement and it seems his day just got a little better. He’s off to the races with your identity. Bottom line, think twice next time you want to put out that chow. It can come back and paw you directly in the face.
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