DWIGHT SPEAKS!
by Dwight SchruteI would like to take this time to address a series issue: toilet paper abuse. The office is using entirely too much toilet paper; usage has been up 5% each month for the last three months and cloggings are through the roof, or should I say not through the pipes. Plus I’ve observed people using toilet paper for purposes outside of its intended use: women (and possibly Oscar) are using it to blot their lipstick, Kevin uses it to color on, and I suspect Kelly pads her chest with it. This has to stop! I’ve tried to discourage your exploitation by replacing the Charmin with the coarser thinner toilet paper imported from Russia, and yet your over consumption proceeded. People have ignored my memos and the signs I put up in the stalls prohibiting the use of more than 3 squares a day. Now I must take more drastic measures. Toilet paper is a privilege, not a right, so I am removing the toilet paper from the bathrooms altogether. If you need some, you can see me at my desk and in emergencies I’ll provide you with no more than one square per day. I suggest you use it wisely.
Continue reading newsletter go here>>
Related posts:
