DWIGHT SPEAKS!
by Dwight Schrute
Spring has sprung and so have mold spores. I will perform my quarterly office disinfection on Saturday because I will no longer subject myself to your whining about the fumes. It’s not my fault the windows don’t open or that your constitutions are weak. I refuse to use commercially produced cleaners. You may play fast and loose with cleanliness, but I will not compromise. If you want to help, I will accept applications for sturdy volunteers to come in on Saturday to aid in the cleaning.
Should you choose not to participate, I will take no responsibility for the contents in, on, and around your desk. I am coming in to clean, not to organize your pathetic lives. Should something not be where you left it, I cannot be held accountable. Should my solvents discolor or dissolve your items, I will not be responsible sorry.
Cleaning day is cleaning day – period. Any family members brought with you will be expected to clean – regardless of age. (That means you, Halperts.)
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