“Pam’s Replacement” Episode Quotes

Funny and memorable quotes from The Office episode, “Pam’s Replacement”.

Dwight: Andy, I’m really sorry about your mother. My deepest condolences.

Pam: Oh, that was just me. Pregnant Pam. And I make sounds much worse than this.
Dwight: Oh, we know.

Ryan: So word on the street is she has a boyfriend.
Gabe: We’ll he’s probably a drug dealer. That’s the best way to land a hot girlfriend. You just, uh, you get her hooked on blow.

Phyllis: Yeah, you have this sexy glow.
Gabe: You know, it’s one of the most common fetishes.

Toby: You know who’s gorgeous? Helen Mirren.

Dwight: Helen Mirren was born Helen Mirrenoff. That’s right, you’re fake salivating over a Soviet-era Russian.

Andy: I think I said “doop” instead of “boop” at one point.

Val: Not bad, fellas. You’re better than you look.
Kevin: Hey, screw you!

Kevin: We’re called, “Kevin and The Zits”.

Andy: Tambourines are for girlfriends.

Pam: Look at her. Even I want some fries with that shake.

Pam: I think Jim’s lying to me about being attracted to Cathy.

Dwight: I never touch a pregnant woman.
Pam: Yep, that’s the Dwight I need.

Dwight: Rule one: Our only loyalty is to the truth.

Dwight: Rule two: We stop at nothing.

Dwight: Rule three: Do not fall in love.

Kelly: I’m gonna write something mean on his wall.

Dwight: The male reveals attraction through unconscious and involuntary physical signs. The puffing of the chest, mirroring, increased blood flow to the crotch.

Dwight: Oh, stumbling, I need something to grab on to!

Pam: Why was he making her laugh so much?

Jim: Oh, this reminds me, Cece needs a new toothbrush.

Kevin: Guys, this means they’re “Kevin and The Zits” now.
Darryl: No man, we are.

Jim: No I’m not worried. Because this lie isn’t for me, it’s for Pam. And when she gets her body back and her confidence back… yes I will tell her the truth. That I had feelings feelings for a coworker today that…I haven’t had in years. In my defense, he was grabbing my crotch fairly aggressive at the time.

Pam: I need you to take care of yourself. What would we do if something happened to you?

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