“Garage Sale” Quotes

Filed under The Office Quotes by Nette on 25-03-2010

Pam: Hey Oscar! Big “Will and Grace” fan, huh?
Oscar: Nope. Everybody assumes I am. I always get them as gifts.

Pam: Dunder Mifflin is having our first ever garage sale. Like many Americans, we realized we had many things that we didn’t need. And ten cents of every dollar is going into the party fund, so we can throw parties for ourselves.

Dwight: Schrutes are farmers by hobby and traders by trade. Through the art of the swap, I will walk out of this garage sale with the finest item here.

Michael: Get lost!
Kevin: Damn it!
Michael: That is how you do it.

Hollly: We can put it in storage in case.
Michael: In case? In case of what?
Holly: You know, in case, maybe something changes?
Michael: I don’t have an in case. Do you have an in case?
Holly: Nope.

Michael: I’m actually calling because I’m in love with her. I love your daughter and I have for some time. And I would like to discuss my intentions with you, which are to ask her to marry me. And I was just hoping you’d give me your approval. And this isn’t a joke. So call me back when you get this. And I look forward to speaking, thank you.

Kelly: Get outta here Dwight. You’re blocking my table with your giant body.
Dwight: Let me tell you about men like him. He comes over and you’re like, “Hey baby, let me light a candle”. And you pull out this one, half used. He’s like, “Who else is she seeing?”. ” I better lock her down fast!”.
Kelly: You can take my Helen Fielding collection.
Dwight: And the Jennifer Weiner collection.

Andy: Oh my gosh, you have the Dallas board game?
Kevin: Yeah. When I was a kid I was on Dallas.
Andy: Really?
Kevin: We missed our connecting flight and we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii. I was in heaven.

Dwight: What is this?
Jim: How did those get out? I’m sorry.
Dwight: Professor Copperfield’s Miracle Legumes?
Jim: I was in Jamaica and I got lost. It was getting dark this one night and then out of no where, this guy comes up with a cart and he’s selling these. Dwight, he told me things about myself that there’s no way he could’ve known.
Dwight: That’s a common swindlers trick.
Jim: Probably. Probably. So I buy some, I turn the corner, I feel like an idiot. So I go back to get my money, he was gone.
Dwight: So you want to sell me magic beans?
Jim: Correction. I do not want you Professor Copperfield’s Legumes.
Dwight: Nice try. Correction, terrible try.

Pam: Why do you need more gas?
Michael: Well, I’m writing a message.
Pam: Is it a good message or a bad message?
Michael: I’m asking Holly a question in fire.
Pam: Are you proposing?
Michael: Maybe.
Pam: Michael, you’ve had two ideas today. And one of them was great and the other one was terrible.
Michael: I am not in the mood for riddles Pam.

Ryan: Phyllis just had that “Mom” look I wanted.

Dwight: Ryan, you have such an interesting mind, so creative. All these new business ideas, artistic projects.
Ryan: Thank you. What you got there?
Dwight: Oh it’s just Stanley’s old photo album. I was thinking about throwing it in the garage. I mean, why would I want some random black mans old photo album sitting in my book shelf? I’m not James Franco.

Dwight: Things are going very well. I traded a thumbtack for Meredith’s junk, for Kelly’s crap, for Phyllis’s garbage, for Oscar’s trash, for Stanley’s crap, for Ryan’s junk for Creed’s garbage, for a very cute squid that Erin happen to have.

Jim: You know what, this ends now.

Pam: Michael, we are family. And I always believe that we should all be very involved in everyone’s personal lives, in a very major way.

Oscar: Take her out to dinner, go down on one knee. If you’re in costume, you did something wrong. If at any point you find yourself tying a ring to a dog’s collar, stop and look at yourself.

Oscar: What! Ryan where did you get this picture?

Phyllis: I have a box of bras under the table if you’re interested?
Holly: Let me see.

Pam: Okay, I think animals in proposals are out. Ryan, didn’t you read in one of your blogs that…
Ryan: Blogs are out but people are texting each other. No more animals.

Michael: How about this, I throw a corpse dressed like me off of the roof., it hits the ground. The head pops off. This leads to me saying the line” I lost my head when I fell in love with you.”

Michael: There’s the ring.
Pam: Holy Sh*t, is that real?
Michael: Yeah. I saved three years salary. Is she not gonna like that?
Pam: No, she’s gonna love it. But I think you should keep the proposal simple. Ya know, like when Jim proposed. He just got down on one knee and he told me he loved me. And he asked me to marry him. It was perfect.
Oscar: Where was that?
Jim: At a gas station. Well it was when she was working in New York so it was half way between both of us.
Michael: That must’ve been a surprise, when at the gas station you proposed.
Pam: No, it was really sweet. It was raining and…
Michael: Oh yeah he did say the weather was bad. That sounds perfect.

Jim: I knew Pam was going to say yes, but I was still scared.
Pam: You were scared?
Jim: Yeah, it’s scary.

Michael: No, I’m not going to be proposed to in the break room. That is not going to be our story. Should have burned this place down when I had the chance.

Kevin:This is stupid, I want my money back. Where’s the money?
Darryl: Yeah, where is it?
Kevin: You know what, I am never, never playing games with you two again!
Kevin: And that is Dallas.

Jim: Nice!
Dwight: I know, right! What the…
Jim: Oh my God!
Dwight: That’s impossible!
Jim: It is right? I mean it’s impossible.
Dwight: Alright, I’ll take them.
Jim: They’re probably worthless.
Dwight: Probably.
Jim: Leave the telescope.

Dwight: I started with a thumbtack and traded my to a telescope. But in a way the most valuable thing here wasn’t a telescope at all, it was this packet of beans. So I traded the telescope for it. And I can just go buy another telescope.

Michael: So this is one of my favorite places in the world.
Holly: Why?
Michael: This is where Toby announced he was going to Costa Rica. The happiest day of my life. Until the day you came to replace him. This is where we first kissed. And this is where we first made love.

Through these blinds, where I first saw you and you had all these boxes, and I thought you were the prettiest mover I’d ever seen.

And I was sitting at this desk, when I called you to tell you I had herpes, and that I was still in love with you. And you said it was over, and you didn’t love me. And thank goodness none of that was true, including the herpes. Ingrown hair.

And in here, this is where we co-ran our first meeting. Remember? Obesity awareness. Saved a lot of lives that day. When you first met Michael Klump. And right over there, hat’s when you realized Meredith was prostituting herself for Outback steak. I will never forget you had the cutest look on your face because you couldn’t believe it, you though it was so wrong.

And over here….
Holly: What happened here?
Michael: Well, nothing, nothing really. I’d just find an excuse to come here so I could stare a you through that window.

Michael: This is where our life faces the toughest tests. After this it’s just smooth sailing.
Jim: Holly would you marry me?
Holly: No
Stanley: Marry me Holly.
Holly: No
Michael: That guy’s got more than he candle as it is.
Oscar: Will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Michael: That marriage would be sham.
Gabe: Will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Michael: Easy no.
Angela: Will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Michael: That would hot, I’d pay to see that.
Ryan: Will you marry me Holly?
Holly: No.
Ryan: The only one I was kinda worried about.
Michael: This is where I fell in love with you. And this is where I ask you to marry me.

Michael: Holly Flax, Marry me will you be?
Holly: Your wife becoming, me will I.

Michael: Guys guys, we’re moving to Colorado.
Kevin: All of us?
Michael: Yep.
Jim: Wait, what?
Michael: Holly has to go back to Colorado, I’m going with her. I’m leaving.

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